R4P2D4- 1.5 loss

Thats right, another round. Took me a long while to decide if i was going to try again after my disastrous 3rd round which ended in Oct. Started this round on Wed, March 16- that was book club night and Thurs was St pats so great loading days...Nursing a shoulder/neck strain so I'll make myself lay off the weights for the next few weeks during P2- which is good because without it I would have kept lifting and probably lessened my success. Going to start up again asap in P3.

Before loading, I weighed in At 150.5.

Loading was strange: gained 3.5 day one then lost 1.5 the next day after all my St Paddys drinking- even though I ate a ton. Down to 151 today from a high of 154. Chicken has been on the menu since I haven't gone shopping for anything else yet. Hope to lose the 20lbs I gained since end Oct this round... Fingers crossed I can stick with it.

Definitely feel preggers: so tired, moody, and headachy. Hopefully that will go away in the next day or two after my body is done detoxing.

Happy supermoon.

Kelly

Words from Anne Lamont (and me!)

Over these years, my body has not gotten firmer. Just the opposite in fact. But when I feel fattest and flabbiest and most repulsive, I try to remember that gravity speaks; also, that no one needs that plastic body perfection from women of age and substance.  Also, that I do not live in my thighs or in my droopy butt. I live in joy and motion and cover-ups. I live in the nourishment of food and the sun and the warmth of the people who love me. from My Secret Body Not matter where you are on this journey to love your body, know that YOU are beautiful and lovable and whole.  You need not change for me, I love you as you are, whomever you are, whatever size, shape, color, or type.  Let the divine light in you shine. -all me baby!

Gentle she goes

So far so good on my New Years Intentions...Ive been listening to my body, feeding myself well, taking breaks when I need them, and pushing myself when I need to.  Ive been fighting this terrific cold, so Im making sure to take my vitamins, limit sugar, and get lots of sleep, and Im feeling pretty good despite the illness, and TOMs arrival yesterday (one week early, though granted, he was 8 weeks late when he arrived last month).  Ive dropped two pounds since the beginning of the week, and Im hoping my workout schedule (body pump 3 times per week, yoga three times per week, running at least once per week, and swimming once per week) in addition to my better eating keeps the numbers dropping.  I do have 8 frozen syringes and a vial of 5000iu left from my last round (though no more syringes), so I MIGHT try another round this winter, but knowing what my headspace was after the last round, and my striving to be more vegetarian in my food consumption (again, gentle, so not going full steam ahead), I want to see if I can get my body to lose when Im not on HCG.  And find out what that looks like.     I want to be a healthy eater all the time, choosing good foods/fuel for my body without worrying about what the scale says (so then I sabotage myself and rebel), and most importantly, I want to stop DIETING and start LIVING ( I know I sound like a Jenny Craig commercial, but its true) !!!!!  I want to stop making excuses and stop lying to myself (ie I was born this way, Im big boned, I wont be able to lose the weight without HCG) .  I am capable of great things and as my body is the vessel that allows me to do those things, it deserves to be treated well.    I know to do that I need to be prepared and I need to be accountable.  I need to make sure I have heathly things in the house, and that I take the time to make them (no more withering away in the frig!!!!).  I need to have greens in the house at all times.  I need to have quick good food ready for those times when I have no time and Im itching to eat crap.  When my head is telling me to go eat, I need to distract myself and avoid food until my body tells me its time to eat.  I need to pay full attention when I eat and notice and enjoy every bite.  I need to drink at least one glass of water before my meal.  And I need to log my food and exercise so I can keep track of what worked for me (ie feeling powerful, strong, healthly and focused) and what Im too sensitive to or takes me out of balance or causes me to gain.  On the gentle side, I am allowing myself my worst vice, diet soda, so I dont feel overwhelmed (diet soda is bad for me since I have reactions to the aspartame in it), and I will give that up again soon....   Today I have eaten two slices of rye bread (panera) with 3 tbs sunflower butter, 1 piece whole wheat bread (small) with margarine, and a big bowl of brussels, collard greens, bok choy stir fried with garlic and onion.  Im still hungry, but Im going to give myself 15 minutes or so to see if thats my head saying I want to eat more or if Im actually hungry.  I also did an hour of weight training and plan to run later this afternoon.  So far so good...and the foods Im eating (lots of greens, good fats, some low glycemic carbs) are taking away my sugary cravings, so thats wonderful.   This weekend, four yoga classes are on the agenda, and date night with hubby (he doesnt know yet that I will be taking him to our Masters groups annual party after dinner at our favorite restaurant-should be a great time!).  Next weekend I have to teach my first hour long class, and Im freaked out big time!  But I will not allow the stress to overwhelm me or my fear to let me back out of it.   Got any big plans for the weekend?  How are you doing with your resolutions?

No weight today

Power out all morning, couldn't weight myself. Just about to head to bed... Yesterday scale said 134. Here's hoping for even lower tomorrow- 55lbs down and counting!

Kelly Scotti
Founder and Director, Flying Dragon Wellness
Www.flyingdragonwellness.com

R3P2 VLCD12:-.2

Current Weight 139.6
Daily Loss .2 (painful to lose so little!)
R3 Starting Weight 145.9
Loss this round 6.5
Total loss to date 49.4


Still no cheating going on, and still no loss going on.  Gained .2 yesterday and lost .2 today.  Ugh!  While I'm reminding myself to be gentle, thanks to yesterday's reflections (thanks for all your great comments!), this week has already been a bear, and I was really hoping for some scale love this morning.  The unreliable scale in the bathroom read 137, and I was all WOOT! WOOT!, and then my trusty Wii Fit tossed me back into reality. 

Funny, this round, Ive been a little depressed.  Hormones must be a-flying.  The last two rounds I was filled with peace and calm, and this time, all I want to do is jump out of the window.  Last night during my yoga class I zoned out in meditation, and that was wonderful, and let me release a lot of stress, but I jumped right back in this morning.  The kids were screaming, lots of noise, hubby was annoyed, and it was a little startling to my psyche, which wanted to bliss out again in all the quiet and peace of last night.

Tonight is my first book club on this round, and Im seriously thinking of enjoying the treats that will be laid out before me, especially as my fatalistic thinking is reminding me that my yoga training this weekend is going to set me back anyway.  At least I skipped at the amazing looking goodies at a co-workers bridal shower yesterday.  I even resisted (it was HARD!) bringing home treats for the boys since I knew they would be too tempting for me (and really, do I need to give them all that sugar.  I know better than that!).

Have any of you stopped before the 23 days?  If so, what happened?  Did the gain everything back and more fear come to be realized?  Obviously, Ill do the no sugar no starch thing for 3 weeks, but I really want to eat more veggies, and mix them, and eat more food, so Im thinking of stopping now.  This round the food portions seems so small and insufficiently filling.  And I have at least 11 more days to go.  With lots of stress and work and feeling overwhelmed with everything on my plate right now, Im not sure what to do. 

Help!

EXPOSED again

R3P2D10 : -1.1

Current Weight 139.6 (YAY, 130s!!!!!!!!!!)
Daily Loss 1.1
R3 Starting Weight (after loading) 145.9
Total Loss this round: 6.5lb
Total Loss to date: 49.4lbs
Sat weight 140.2
Sunday Weight 140.7

I made it to the 130s, finally, a goal I have had since January!!!!!  I will reach the 50lb lost mark HOPEFULLY tomorrow...I have .6 to go.  Boy, what a journey.  I'm continuing to struggle with hunger and food cravings this round, and to top it off, every night I dream of food (and then wake up thinking I have cheated).  This is definitely my hardest round yet.  But Im choosing to continue working out, and I know that is probably affecting me, as is my attitude.  Two more weeks to go at the minimum...just keep breathing, Kelly.

Yesterday was a blast!  I did my warrior dash, a 3.15 mile course with 13 obstacles (like jumping over fire, and wading through chest deep FREEZING water and having to jump over logs, and crawling through mud under barbed wire), and we finished in about 45 minutes.  I went with a girlfriend of mine (see the pic posted yesterday) who was such a trooper.  She hasn't run in a long time, has bronchitis and yesterday TOM arrived for her (and no I didnt force her to go :)).  So I call her the ultimate warrior.  We stuck together for support, which was great, and ended up crossing the finish line holding hands.  So cool...Thanks Pam.  You ROCK!

After she drunk her disgusting beer (her words), we watched a few of the bands, cleaned off a little, and headed home.  Three hours of driving for a two hour event.  After I got home, I fell asleep for two hours immediately after finishing my shower (and almost fell asleep in there).  I was so exhausted.  Hubby  finally dragged me out of bed at 4:30pm since we had dinner plans.

We went to Ted's Montana Grill for dinner with hubby's parents, who were celebrating their wedding anniversary (40+ yrs), and I enjoyed a 4 oz filet with some asparagus and tomatoes (it was actually 8 ozs, and it was SO HARD to not finish the whole thing).  I mixed my veggies, and still lost, yay!  The kids were good (ie no one ended up crying, including me) and we had a very nice time.  Please join me in wishing congrats to my Mom and Dad in laws for reaching such an amazing milestone.  Here's to many more blessing filled, awe-inspiring, love fest filled years for you two!

And here's to my reaching another amazing milestone tomorrow. 

ps tomorrow is the EXPOSED anniversary for Mish at EatingJourney.com.  If you remember, I exposed myself earlier this year, and made known all the reasons why I love my body so.  So tomorrow, Im going to do it again, in honor of Mish's anniversary, and my amazing journey.  I invite you to join me!  You can also link to this website if you do it.

pss Measurements from today:

Waist 28.5
Hips 37
R thigh 21
R calf 14
Chest 33.25
Neck 13
Ankle 8.5
R arm 11

Have a wonderful week!

R3P2D6- VLCD D4- .2 loss

Current Weight 146
Starting weight after loading 145.9
Daily Loss .2
Sat weight -.4: 145.5
Sunday Weight +.7: 146.2 (too much yoga! )

Wow, am I tired and sore from my first yoga teacher training weekend.  Obviously, no real loss here.  Im still up .1 from loading, and 2.5 from my R2 LIW.  I was definitely hoping to see more movement, but I bet Im holding onto a lot of water, and Im probably finally hydrated after all those weeks of diet soda dehydration.  Either way, I feel good, no bloating, (no cheating), and Im on track to go at least 23 days.

I havent been hungry really yet, though I am definitely having cravings.  Not for any food in general, just for more food, and the freedom to eat whatever I want.  I threw away a donut this morning, since my son didnt want it-and boy was that hard.  I also gave my favorite guacamole to my friend Meliss yesterday since it would go bad before my round is over, and I would have loved that too.  And there's Naked Juice in the frig that I love that I thought the kids would finish this weekend when I was at training, but no...so Im going to have to convince Hubby to drink it when he gets back tomorrow.  Not having the scale move, even though I understand why, really makes my rebel inner child want to eat.  Ill get through it, Im sure. 

Im sticking with my basic menu today as I have for these last few days: chicken salad and P2 chili (which will be especially good with the chill thats in the air).  My son is off from school today, so Im going to try to get all my work done early and then play with him later, in addition to going to the grocery store.  The real test will be this afternoon, when I plan to make everyone's breakfasts and lunches for the rest of the week...Im going to need to do that very soon after eating lunch (or maybe after dinner) to ensure the cravings dont knock me out. 

On the exercise front, this week will be a combo of running and yoga.  I have the warrior dash this Sunday and want to be prepared for it.  So today Ill run, Tues yoga, Wed run, Thur yoga, Friday run, Sat yoga, and race on Sunday.  We'll see what that does to my weight.  I know the protocol says to stick to your regular workout schedule and not add anything, but this is my experiment.  I wanted to do a round one last time before the year end, and this is really the only time I had where it wouldnt interfere with the holidays.  I'm happy at my current weight, but would love to get down lots more, since I still have those fun fat rolls (in my back and under my arms too, whats that about) and a little muffintop, and no wiggle room if I gain.  And its a way to really challenge all my food addiction tendancies...this diet gives them a real kick in the pants, and for that, its great!  Wish me luck!

And where are all my round buddies out there?  How are you guys doing? 

R3P2D2- Loading Day 2

Current Weight 145.7

Up .9 from yesterday, so it looks like my combo loading day worked.  I think I needed to drink a little more water, as Im feeling vey dehydrated, and I had a huge leg cramp during yoga yesterday that still persists today, so Ill be taking my magnesium just to see if thats the issue.  TOM has stuck around with a bang, but stomach is flatter than its been in weeks, depsite that.  Love the HCG!

Measurements were pretty good this morning, still the same since July!!!! 
Waist- 30
Chest 34
Hip 38
R thigh  21.5
R calf  14
Neck 13
R arm 12
Ankle 8.5

Today, my loading has consisted of lots of nuts, chocolate granola, crostini, and a chicken souvlaki (pita, chicken, tiztiki sauce, and veggies), and chocolate peanut butter ice cream awaits me this afternoon.  I'm going to have a colonic tomorrow to make sure everything is nice and clean for the start of my VLCD (also had one last week), and then start my daily P2 chili and chicken salad meals (pretty much my daily meals during R2P2).  Then tomorrow night starts my yoga training!

Hubby is off to Vegas tonight with his buddies, so I am wishing him lots of luck at the tables, lots of fun with his friends, and safe travels back to his family (and lots of money coming back to us would be good too :)!).

Hope you guys have a great day~

R3P2D1- Loading at 144.8

Current Weight 144.8
LIW R2 143.5
Measurements: to be done after loading

So starts my loading for R3.  So far, Ive had two meatballs (from a Primo's Hoagie), a whole sleeve of Pico De Gallo Wholly Guacamole (YUMMY!) with some crostini, and am looking forward to some mixed nuts and ice cream later.  Im doing kinda of a eat the last bits of what I crave (ie ice cream and crackers) and load up on good fats loading, so I dont gain too much, but do have the fat I need to get me through my first week.  I really dont want to gain more than 3lb from loading, as I really hope to reach the high 120s by end of October (yes, body, we can do it, please ?!?!?!?!).

This is going to be a very interesting round.  I plan to keep exercising throughout (swimming, biking, running, yoga), and am starting my yoga teacher training this Friday night...that will most likely be pretty hard core (8 long weekends in 3.5 months), though I have been practicing at least 2-3xs a week for the last month or so.   Not sure how that will affect my weight.  I also am planning my first shorter round.  My first round was 50 days and the second I believe was 40, so this time 30 days is my max.  I want to be done with my 3 weeks of P3 before Thanksgiving, and maybe even in time for some birthday cake for me and my sons (we were all born within 5 days of each other in November). 

For those of you wondering, I do SC injections.  This morning I mixed 5000 ius of HCG with 14.25ccs of bacteriostatic water, and that will give me approx 28 175iu injections.  If I do my skip days like Im supposed to, and the HCG stays stable (in the frig, in its box, covered by foil to not be damaged by the light), I will only need one batch for this round.  Funny, less than an hour after my injection, TOM arrived (not due for a week or so)...or at least I had spotting.  We'll see if he sticks around. 

So, who out there wants to be round buddies?  I have a feeling Im going to need lots of support this round!

ps-something I want to share, at least to remind myself.  Someone asked me about my spiritual practice, and I said this:  Every thing I do, every moment, is a part of my spiritual practice.  I focus on the stillness inside, and the peace and beauty all around me.   Pretty profound, I thought, immediately after verbalizing it.  And sometimes more true than at other times.  I am a work in progress, and my life is such a blessing.

R3 in two weeks!

Current Weight 145 (steak day) Above LIW 1.5   Time is sure flying, isnt it?  In only a few weeks my hubby is off to Vegas for a long weekend, I'll start a yoga teacher training program (though I still havent figured out which one), and Ill be starting R3 to drop another 20lbs (fingers crossed).      Today has been a good day so far, though I succumbed to the brownies and cookies being served at one of my coworker's surprise baby shower.  Later on, Ill be tempted by the culinary delights being served at book club.  But all is good.  I will eat in moderation (subliminal messaging, please work), and since I ran for 40 minutes today, I have an additional 400 calories to work with...   How is YOUR day going?

Race Story and More

Current Weight 147 Above LIW 3.5   So my Mom's birthday was this past Thursday (Happy Birthday, Mom!).  Being the good daughter I am, I called her to wish her a Happy Day, and chatted with her about life and whats new.  I mentioned that I was considering doing yoga teacher training, and she said in response, 'you remind me so much of my dad.  He was never satisfied, he was always trying to grow and learn more'.  Immediately, in response to her first words, I was transported back to my teens and my 20s, and my early 30s, when I have heard her say that I am never satisfied before...and then I reflected on her next statement, you are always trying to grow and learn more...I asked her, when you say that, do you mean it as a negative? Because I ALWAYS took those words never satisfied as a negative (she never said the grow part before).  And she said no, she said she was always so impressed with it, and it was so unlike her.  Boy, was I thrown for a loop.  It was as if a bomb exploded in my head.  You mean all those things I thought, that my mom didnt approve of what I do, that she doesnt think I am happy with what i do or have, that I cannot be satisfied-that was all wrong, and instead she was impressed and happy and maybe a little envious...wow, to have that clarified after assuming something else for so long was amazing.  And it is causing me to rethink lots of things, and be more open, and less critical of myself.  Wild, huh?   So on to the race story.  You know that the last tri I did I blew my front tire, and road on it for 4 miles anyway, right?  Well, this time, I blew my first tire at mile 10, and was lucky enough to have someone stop and help me fix it- I was also prepared with an intertube and all the tools I would need to change it.  The second tire, again the front, blew at mile 15-just my luck!  I only had 8 more miles to go, and I was feeling great.  No pain, good time, and wanting to finish.  I waited for some help, 10 minutes, then more, and no luck. I was only about 1/2 a mile from a turn where there were some state policemen, so I started walking.  I had to take off my bike shoes since it was too hard to walk in them, so I walked in my socks to them, and ended up cutting the bottom of my foot (didnt find that out until I went to put my running shoes on in transition and saw the blood).  The nice officer drove me back to the transition area, or should I say, to the entrance of the park where I got back on the bike and rode in so I wouldnt be disqualified (they were pretty lax, and I was one of the last people to finish, so I didnt think it a big deal.  I knew if I was DQed I wouldnt find out my official times, and I wanted to, so thats the only reason I didnt report it, really....hey, Im telling you, right.  Full disclosure.  Anyway, by the time I got back to transition, it was really later than it would have been if I had rode the 8 miles back on a full tire.  So I went on to finish the run, and ultimately finish all but 8 miles of the race.  As I did it just to prove that I could, especially in regards to the swim and the run, I felt really good about my results.  I ran all 6 miles in ~10 minutes each, despite those sand dunes and all the varied terrain, and the cut on my foot, and I swam the mile in less than 40 minutes, which is what it normally takes me in a pool.  And the bike portion-15 miles-took me less than and hour which isnt too shabby.  I would haev loved to not have gotten those flats to see my real time.   My next race is the warrior dash... on Oct 10th; I just registered today.  You go through 13 obstacles, like jumping over fire, and crawling in the mud under barbed wire, while running 3.23 miles.  It should be a blast.  I love this body of mine...   And since I will be doing yoga teacher training and running during my next round, you and I will get to see first hand how exercise affects someone who is conditioned during HCG.  I have  a feeling that I will be tired, and not lose as much, but I will be good either way.  I look and feel great, and though I want to lose another 20 lbs to get to 125, its really just gravy, since I have a whole new life that I love.  And wonderful bloggy friends like you...you know you all rock, dont you?

Race Results

Still not posted yet on the race site yet, though I know I did 38:01 on the swim, 1:32 on bike ( I'll share that story tomorrow- though it involves two flat tires and a friendly NJ State policeman), and unofficially 61:20 for the run. I say unofficially since I timed myself when I started the run, about two minutes after I crossed the timing mat due to a much needed bathroom break, just a short detour from the race route. I was really impressed with my results, and glad that I was able to get out of the I can't do it mentality that I had up to the point that I did the race. Yep, it sounds like a lot, but if you train your mind and your body, you can do it. Dare I set my sites on completing a 1/2 ironman next yr (1.2m swim, 56m bike, 13.1m run?

How was Your weekend?

So NERVOUS!

Weight 145 Above LIW 1.5   Tomorrow is the big day, my first Olympic.  I've borrowed a wetsuit that somewhat fits, ate garlic noodles from PF Changs for my carbo-loading, packed my tri bag and readied my bike, and am off to bed in 1/2 an hour.  Ill be getting up around 5:30 to quickly shower, load my bike, grab my sunflower butter bagel and caffeine and get on the road for my hour and a half drive.  This is the latest Ive ever had a tri start, 9am, so I wont be done til 12:30 or 1pm...boy, that blows my mind.    Wish me luck, and happy finishing thoughts!   This is the start of a whole new mindset and skill set!   Happy weekend everyone, see you alive and well on Monday.