R2P2D12-VLCD D10

R2P2 Highest Loading Weight 165.3
Daily Loss .8
Current Weight 153.7
R2P2 Loss to Date 11.6
LIW R1P2 159.4
Under LIW 5.7
Food Tracker: Brussel Sprouts, Red Delicious Apple, Chicken Breast with Walden Farms BBQ sauce, P2 chili, Melba Toast, Strawberries with Walden Farms Chocolate Syrup
Exercise: 1150m swim (30 minutes)

Wow, I just realized that I am about a lb short of being at the same weight I was when I got married almost 8 yrs ago.  So cool.  Yesterday, again, I went with my intuition about what I should be eating, so I had more brussel sprouts, and I even tried my Waldens Farms favorites that I normally save until P3, just for a little variety.  I also did Masters swim last night, though I only stayed for 2/3 of it, since my lower back has been a little sore, and I didnt want to make it worse.  Not sure if its sore because the fat is being redistributed over that area?  I havent done yoga or swam for over a week before last night, so that wasnt it...

Right now, I am feeling a tingling sensation in my middle back, right around where I had it yesterday, when I felt like someone was doing Reiki on me.  Its like my angels are looking out for me, reminding me to be centered and peaceful throughout my day (and I say that since I talked to my Reiki Master after it happened for the first time to see if she was working on me, and she said no, its probably either remnants from the training or my angels-I love the idea of the latter).  Ahh, thats nice.

Today is the second health coaching session I have with my IIN coach (yes, we coaches work with coaches too...keeps me on my game!).  Im also planning on a nice walk after the rain goes away, completing my 1st test for school (auditing the distance learning program at my old nutrition school), and doing all my day job work, cleaning my office and my closet, and going to my swim lesson tonight (havent seen my coach since Oct!).  Busy day, and Im so looking forward to it (and I am ok with it as well, if some of these things take me all week).  That training this weekend really got me to a subconscious place of focus and commitment to do those things that are the most important for my sanity (I feel so much better when the house is clean and uncluttered), and Im taking full advantage.

Re the Martha Beck 4 Day Wins, I still plan to do them, but for now, Im more focused on spring cleaning and renewal.  Im going to start back up as soon as I receive a copy in the mail, as the library book is due tomorrow.  So for those of you following along, make sure to repeat your current 4 day wins so they stack up and become part of who you are.  Though I am still on P2, I am asking myself if I am hungry and only eating when I am, I take full responsibility for what I eat, and can see the reason for it, and I work on my PDHR thinking when it arises. 

Any of you have sanity building plans for this week?

25 lbs down!

Dropped another 1.1 today, so Im officially 25LBS DOWN!!!! YAY!  Yippee...And today is measurement day (click to see larger):

For the occasion, I decided to take some more pics, and try a new bathing suit this time:

The last one reminds me of the pics my sis n law takes...she is so cool!  Now Im like her :)

Tried Bragg's Aminos for the first time yesterday, and I loved it!  Take just like salty soy sauce and gave my chicken and salad a kick.  I was worried that it might make me stall, based on some comments from the HCG Dieters group, but it hasn't hit me yet.  Of course, I just used a little, but it went a long way.  Looking forward to having it again today.

Also had my monthly book club last night, and it was a blast.  Didn't end up leaving until after 11pm since we lost track of time (on a school night, oops!).  In bed by 11:40, and up today at 6 when my little guy woke up.  Still saw a loss despite the lack of sleep (I normally sleep 8 hrs if I can).

Listened to the Steve G Jones recording of Weight Loss (Hypnosis Sleep Script) last nigt at bedtime, and it was nice, but not sure if  I plan on buying any others.  Ill let you know after 21 days (which is how long they say it takes to work).

Suffering through a finger infection called parynochia (infection under the cuticle with pus) on two of my left hand fingers, and a little nervous since I know the medical treatment is antibiotics and I broke out in hives after my last time on antibiotics.  Ive been trying all sorts of home remedies (ASV with warm water soak for 1/2 hr, oregano oil on and under the skin) but nothing working yet.  Im going to try another tonight that consists of sticking your infected fingers inside a lemon for 8 hrs...sounds a little messy and painful, but hopefully it will work!

Had a lovely session of Reiki today...I asked my practitioner to set an intention for me to get rid of my finger infection and candida, and to help me stabilize perfectly during P3.  It was a wonderful session, and completely fits into P2 since its not a massage.  He told me that my adrenals are working really hard right now metabolizing my fat and that I should sending healing energy to them (and once Im on P3 Ill start taking my adrenal support supplements again), in addition to a lot of mental processing (since he said there is an emotional component to my weight loss-and he was exactly right!!!!!), and my uterus and related organs (specific details would be TMI for this pg rated blog) need healing.  It was interesting and so relaxing...Have you ever tried Reiki? 

Just re-read my post and Im all over the place..sorry for that, but I feel flooded with ideas, information, and items to do from my to do list...Ill be a little more sane tomorrow.  Hope you enjoyed the Happy Dance in my last post :)...feel free to post yours!

Full Disclosure

I originally starting doing TRIs to give myself a goal that would keep me working out consistently. And the more expensive the race, the better, because I hate to lose money, and that would just add to my motivation. But honestly, the most important reason I wanted to do this was to lose weight....to release weight, to stop weighing myself down (as I heard on the biggest loser tonight). I am a health coach. I know what to do to lose weight...much more than I would ever need to know. I need to move more and eat less. I need to eat whole organic foods. I need to avoid diet sodas (since I have reactions to artificial sweeteners). I need to find space and time to meditate and be with myself. And I need to forgive myself for not being perfect.

But it is so much easier to keep eating and bury the pain down under the food. And to tell myself that I am doing the right things, and I just cant lose the weight. And to focus on everything else but my real issues.

I am AFRAID. AFRAID of my power, my brilliance, attention, succeeding, failing, feeling limited, looking amazing, losing my husband, or even worse, leaving him.

I am SAD. Sad that I was not able to breastfeed my son after everything I tried with my diet failed to stop his eczema and his allergies. Sad that I feel like I failed him. Sad that I feel like I failed myself. Sad that I don't put him to bed anymore because it reminds me of what I am not able to do. Sad that I will not be having more children (due to choice not biology). Sad that I felt so beautiful in my big, pregnant body, and so ugly in the same body when I am not pregnant.

All of this came out after my massage today. I asked my therapist who has experience with Reiki and Chakra balancing to get my body ready to release the weight I have been holding onto. And he asked about my breastfeeding due to something he was sensing during the massage. After hearing the story, he told me that I need to accept that I gave my best to my son, and continue to do so. That Kieran loves me no matter what, and I give him everything he needs. That I need to forgive myself, and allow myself to heal. And I cried. And I am still crying. I need to release this, I need to be honest about it, and I need to ask for love and support to get me past this and to a place where I love and accept myself unconditionally no matter if I am 185 pounds or more or less.

And then maybe I won't have injuries throughout the season...because I now believe they were due to energetics more than physical issues...and then I can work to release my fears and the weight...and then subsequently be a better Triathlete. I want to set a good example for my children, I want to be the best and the strongest I can be, and I want to feel peace in my heart.

So here I go.