The Truth

I was re-reading my posts for the last few days, and I realized I wasn't being honest with you...in regards to everything I have been experiencing since coming off of the HCG.  Turns out that I have been having mood swings (sorry, my darling hubby), a little depression, a lot of angst, and much confusion.  My skin is breaking out a little, and my boobs don't feel as firm.  Strange set of symptoms, and right this second I feel fine.  But I definitely feel better when I am on the HCG.  Life if somehow more calm, and a little easier.  I read somewhere that is helps to balance your hormones, and that could be the reason for the mood fluctations...as well, I have a history of depression, but Ive been pretty good for the last few years.  So not sure whats going on...

It could be too that this P3 is causing me to fret.  I feel like Im floating in the ocean with no lifeboat...I have no idea how my body will react to foods, I am having difficulty planning meals, I don't know the exact calorie counts of all the things Im eating...ugh!

Ive been on the HCG yahoo group reading posts for suggestions, Ive looked at happilythinnerafter, and blog after blog for ideas, but I think that is just making me more confused-steak days, chicken day, egg days (I hate eggs), apple and cheese days...I just want to be able to eat normally without gaining or losing, and it seems like a pipe dream. 

Its funny, though, this is like a dress rehearsal for the rest of my eating life.  I need to test things to see how my body reacts, and then soon, I will have a reportoire of foods that my body accepts, that I love, and that nourish me, and support my ideal weight.  But there is always the but there...but what if I dont stabilize, what if I gain all the weight back, what if this is some big practical joke?

In P4, I'm really looking forward to eating beans again, and brown rice, and quinoa, and my favorite balsamic dressing (which has sugar in it).  I know I am ok with that.  I am also looking forward to slow cooked oats with honey or B grade maple syrup, and ...oh there is so much more.  But for now, I need to maintain my much deserved 29lb loss, and figure out the next three weeks.

On a brighter note, one of our neighbors (good friends) called me Twiggy today.  I LOVE that...